stubborn? heck yes.

its semi-semi- official that paul won't be able to make it to the birth. I've already set a network of helpers which I know I will be ok between them and my dad... but I am REALLY hesitant to ask my mom or paul's mom. am I stubborn? yes. should I just 'bow down' to their will and let them help? maybe... maybe not.

this was a huge factor in why I decided to homebirth. I need a better chance at a quicker recovery and to get back on my feet. not that its a 100% sure thing, but I'm hoping having a more natural birth will help me get back on my feet quicker so I don't have to deal with 'help'.

not to mention that I really want to get breastfeeding to a good start this time and people just stress me out. I'm a I can do this myself type of girl. am I scared that I can't? maybe. I've never had a toddler and a newborn....