girl!
ayeeee. I am so excited. I had our gender ultrasound yesterday and waited till paul got online for to find out! so at 5 am this morning we found out we are having a GIRL!
I am excited, on cloud nine, ecstatic and then guilty! I didn't feel this excited at Jake's gender ultrasound. that time I was blindsided by my emotion. I *thought* i wanted a boy forever. afraid of my own 'non-girlishness' and reflecting my husband's desire for a boy (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't as strong as how I feel about having a girl), I hoped, wished, prayed, for a boy. when the ultrasound tech announced the sex, I felt my spirit leave my body and ask again if she was sure if the baby was a boy. in my mind I didn't even know why I was asking again. why wasn't I happy? I cried in the car, gathered myself and called paul where he did a 'little dance' in Iraq.
I should add, there was no dancing in afghanistan when I told paul #2 was a girl. HA!
also I had this feeling of family 'completeness' that people talk about that came out of nowhere. I've always thought i wanted a big family - at least 4 kids. I even talked to my sister right after the ultrasound about having huge family get together once we settle where all the cousins and aunts, uncles and family friends would gather. I would cook, kids would sleep in sleeping bags on the floor while adults snoozed on the couch... but once I saw that this baby was a girl, I immediately thought that THIS IS IT! I don't have to have anymore kids.
wow I am so full of emotion that I didn't think I was feeling. It is insane but it matters so much and I don't think people should deny it. yea, it is important to me. even much more than I thought. I'm not going to hide behind my emotions. I am so freaking happy that #2 is a girl. doesn't mean that I love him more or less :)
I am excited, on cloud nine, ecstatic and then guilty! I didn't feel this excited at Jake's gender ultrasound. that time I was blindsided by my emotion. I *thought* i wanted a boy forever. afraid of my own 'non-girlishness' and reflecting my husband's desire for a boy (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't as strong as how I feel about having a girl), I hoped, wished, prayed, for a boy. when the ultrasound tech announced the sex, I felt my spirit leave my body and ask again if she was sure if the baby was a boy. in my mind I didn't even know why I was asking again. why wasn't I happy? I cried in the car, gathered myself and called paul where he did a 'little dance' in Iraq.
I should add, there was no dancing in afghanistan when I told paul #2 was a girl. HA!
also I had this feeling of family 'completeness' that people talk about that came out of nowhere. I've always thought i wanted a big family - at least 4 kids. I even talked to my sister right after the ultrasound about having huge family get together once we settle where all the cousins and aunts, uncles and family friends would gather. I would cook, kids would sleep in sleeping bags on the floor while adults snoozed on the couch... but once I saw that this baby was a girl, I immediately thought that THIS IS IT! I don't have to have anymore kids.
wow I am so full of emotion that I didn't think I was feeling. It is insane but it matters so much and I don't think people should deny it. yea, it is important to me. even much more than I thought. I'm not going to hide behind my emotions. I am so freaking happy that #2 is a girl. doesn't mean that I love him more or less :)
posted by mollie at 10:37 AM
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