i should remember to update this more often...

i don't even remember was the last time i did...

i am finally lifting from my bout with depression. i think the trip back home helped... although i wish i could have gone home under better circumstances, but it really made me feel like cali isn't too far... as long as i can dish out 3~400 dollars for a plane ticket (which i can't often but it would be nice). baby thing isn't going too well, but i am taking it a month at a time. i freak out every time when that time of the month comes. i get so angry!!! i'm sure my body is still healing, my heart is still healing. i feel like i've made a lot of progress this month coping. also zaskia having her baby 3 months early has also freaked me out... and it made me think about how yes, god does have a plan for me and he wants it prefect for me. so now i am patiently waiting. :D