so... paul's basic training is coming to a close... and i was thinking how this who thing have impacted me as a person and us as a couple. there are so much of what could've been and what i am now that its really hard to put into words.

now as a person, i think i have gotten more independent for sure. i think i've also gotten pretty healthier. i've lost a couple pounds and well after a week hiatus (haha.) i'm back at the gym...

relationship wise, i've become less insecure about my relationship with paul. now someone who knows us might think... ?!?! what? mollie was insecure about her relationship? yes indeed i was. it wasn't like i was sure about his feelings, i was not sure about mine. i was secretly afraid that i might have loved paul just because he was so kind to do things i couldn't, and when i was able to do those things my feelings for him might change.... i know it sounds a bit mean, but the feeling was there and i was sooo afraid. its one of those things that you wish you wouldn't confront forever and you wish that it wasn't there. maybe i didn't get my license and i was afraid of driving because of that reason.... but now i can drive and i can't wait to see him. i dream about him. i can't wait to touch his face, my hands get all warm and i have to grip it when i think about it. i want to well, DOH i was going to say put my hands in his hair. haha. i guess i can't do that... but i just want him to be with me. i want him to come home to me and sit at his computer and play games with me. i don't need it back to the way it was... i just want his presence here. in a couple months i will. i know it will go by fast since the last two months have gone by SO fast...

speaking of which i can't believe that and the end of this week 1/3 rd of summer will be over already! it feels like it just started! yea we are already a month into summer vacation. its pretty crazy. before i know it i'll be babysitting kristen and heading to arizona.

wheeee.