ok so i am really happy for some reason and i'm not sure why. is it because paul is finally in BCT? or is it something else? its weird because i do miss him terribly, especially now that he doesn't call me anymore. i find myself looking at the phone more often now, waiting for him to call but i know it won't come. yet i am pretty happy in general. maybe because its all not that bad as i thought i would be. even walking to work and back isn't so bad. maybe i'm feeling healthy and happy. i feel wierd because i never thought i would feel happy while he is gone but here i am. now i am so repeating myself and how i am happy! this is just silly! hahahaha!