i don't know where to turn, but i don't want to turn to anyone anyway. so i turn to my blog...

i'm so down, so depressed.

HIS birthday is coming up, VALENTINES and then its my birthday. i will be spending these days just talking to him, just wondering if he gets it. what he says... i get confused. what i know... he is not confused. what happened yesterday was that i had just made up hat i had wanted to hear in my mind. i know he is not a mind reader and all he said was,

shesh go to yoga. it will make you feel better. it always does.

but what i wanted to hear was,

i miss you too honey, don't be so depressed. it would be February 10th in no time and we'll see each other.

i know i was just punishing him because he didn't say exactly what i want to hear. that is so wrong of me to do... but logic doesn't matter when you are full of emotion. in my perfect fantasy world he would know exactly what to say and he would know exactly how i feel. my perfect fantasy world bugs me.

so i ride this depression like a lonely day at the beach, waves crashing, cold, wet, miserable, and alone... and for some reason i have curly hair, and look like jennifer aniston.

maybe i saw this in a movie or something... actually i don't think i have seen any movie with jennifer aniston.