ok so i decided that i use this post to do some deep thinking. i don't think i have had the need to do that recently because i have been doing a lot of that while i've been writing to paul... but here it is.

on love:

i don't understand why some people make love so complicated then it really is. there isn't much to it really. you coexist by being yourselves. you can not ever be happy being someone you are not. if you change to impress your significant other or to have that person's attention, then its not worth it. if you are trying to change your significant other because you don't like a certain part of him/her, then its not worth it.

good communication is a must also. also to be open to the others opinions. for instance, when i sent paul a picture of me with my new glasses, he just bluntly told me that i look dorky in those glasses. i was a little hurt by that comment but the more i think about it, i do look dorky in them. now i can do two things. 1, be angry at him because he did hurt my feelings and hold grudges or 2, just accept that he thinks so but i can't do anything about it so let him have his say... and know there will be a day i would voice my opinion and hopefully that he takes it well as i do. some people might tell me that he shouldn't have made such a comment, but i'm glad he did, because if it came from anyone else i might have been devastated, but since it came from someone i love and truly trust, i realized that... well, maybe they might be telling the truth.

with that comes letting go. letting go of your feeling towards their faults. even letting go of your own feeling towards your need sometimes.

if you feel like noone can ever love you, then you are not in love with yourself. you need to love yourself before you can truly give yourself to someone else.

fin